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Talk:Transtrender/@comment-43796243-20190911224736/@comment-44013531-20191004162333
"Without that drive dysphoria, really, what other drive is there besides wanting attention?" Humans are social creatures and the vast majority of us have some drive to feel connected to others, to feel like we belong. It's possible for a person to be accepting of their assigned gender and/or body and not feel dysphoria, but still feel incomplete. I think, perhaps how dysphoria is defined comes in to play. Here, dysphoria is primarily defined as feeling discomfort or disconnect with one’s assigned sex. That definition doesn’t really fit the experience that a bigender or genderfluid person might have with their assigned sex. Such a person might not be comfortable saying they feel dysphoria, because that definition might tell them they don’t. Similarly, an agender person might not necessarily feel disconnect or discomfort with their assigned sex. I might be ok with my assigned sex, my body. But I might be more than that, or less than that. That might just be a part of me, but not really as society has defined it. Maybe society got this all wrong and gender isn’t a real human trait at all. We’re all so unique, so individual, that gender labels, even non-binary ones, can’t encompass how every person will experience what we call gender. Another possible way for a genderfluid, agender, or bigender person to never feel dysphoria, even using the more broad definition, the opposite of euphoria, is to have just been accepted and somehow managed to be in a bubble of sorts, where society didn’t force them into a box. They could be past discomfort, disconnect, and dysphoria. Or maybe they suppress that discomfort so much that they believe they’re past it. They might not be out publicly, and still might be convinced they’re comfortable. Now, I do accept that there are likely some who are just "faking it" for attention, or as a means to undermine acceptance. But I believe we have to give people the benefit of the doubt. And what you pointed out, people who "checked" and then "saw that it was harmful", some of those people might truly feel that way, as you implied. But some might have succumb to external pressures. They might have been convinced that they’re not trans, or not non-binary, when deep down to their core, they are. Without support, without acceptance, it’s damned hard. If a person is constantly surrounded by pressures to conform many will. And some of them will seemingly do a 180 and try to force others to conform as well. But do understand, some of those people were forced back in the closet and they’re just trying to survive. It’s really like you said, it’s not a fun experience to come out trans. It’s not a fun experience to come out non-binary either. So why would these people “check” if they never felt anything was wrong? Maybe they did feel something was wrong. Maybe they still do. Why else go through the incredible discomfort, awkward conversations, and take such huge risks?